Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I flaked

Aside from being still on pins about the propositions I'm especially worried about, I completely flaked yesterday and didn't do my NaNoWriMo. *cowers* Don't hurt me.

I'll do it today, promise. Or, I'll try to. I swear, I've been calling one friend every day complaining about why I'm crazy for doing this, not suited to be a writer and how crappy my writing is. He's being a trooper about it. I love having gay friends and if that *******ing prop (and one other) passes, I'm going to recant my promise and get back into politics (which I really don't want to -gaddammit) then there goes my book time. Romance books, that is.

Back to complaining: what the heck was I thinking when I joined NaNo. I don't even have a good conflict and the stubborn characters keep changing the story on me!!!! UGH!!!! Should I even be hearing them in my head? Mocking me? Need to get my head checked, but then I'd have to stop writing which will probably drive me more insane. Why won't my characters be more cooperative? They're the ones that wanted me to write their freaking story instead of my other crazy death filled dark novel. Then they mock me in my head.

P.S. Watched Addams Family Values last night to chill out from all the intensity. Still love it despite some kinks. Hehehe. Did you do anything fun last night?

Edit: If you are uncomfortable with political discussions, am very conservative, or don't want to hear me cuss rant, please skip the next bit. Skip it.

I'm giving you adequate warning and blank spacing.

Turn away.

Okay, I'm done warning ya.

I bleeped out most of the cursing, cussing, and profanity, but I seriously cannot believe the citizens of California can be so full of ****, ignorance and hate lost unable to recognize the true values of equality. That a place once thought to be a part of the forerunners of progress has caved lost it's place in this country. When the elimination of constitutional protection to all human individuals became butchered overshadowed by discrimination and fear.

I cannot believe the place I have called home and where I feel most safe have succumbed to stupidity injustice. To have injustice become a part of the very Constitution where blood, tears, and pain wrote the right to freedom, happiness, and safety from discrimination now destroyed deny the same individuals a part of our lives and history the rights they themselves have.

How can we, as a society, look ourselves in the mirror everyday knowing we've learned nothing from the hated crimes history not yet a decade old?

This is very disappointing and my heart breaks at the thought of the continual discriminatory policies of our country. I had thought people were smarter more respectful and tolerant of other people and less of a hypocrite discriminatory. To deny people the very right they themselves enjoy and completely **** up by ****ing around and changing families like changing tissue, while wearing the cloak of professing to be understanding and accepting of differences...somehow makes me more determined to see them cry make the change. Of course, according a my much younger-not-able-to-vote friends, we just need to wait a few years for the older generation to die off.

Patience maybe really is a virtue. If nothing else, while idiots haven't learned **** I have seen that people do learn from history and will finally slowly move forward to change our world to be a more equal place. Perhaps I'm being too harsh and hard on the voters whom ruined lives passed the prop. We are all entitled to our beliefs and it's not as if I want to eliminate stop someone else from having the right to equality. Then again, this is my blog where I can actually rant and readers have the option of not reading if they disagree. The little 'X' is at the upper right hand corner.

Guess this changes things.
If voting's not enough, then getting back into politics might be. ****


  1. Hey! Hang in there with Nano. I think the important thing is to have fun. Well, last night I had fun. Met some friends at a bar and cheered the results. Though your prop 8 seems to be going the wrong way last I looked. So sorry!

  2. CJ - I'm trying to have fun, but it seems my characters are the only ones enjoy thing...messing with me. O_o
    My friend has been keeping me updated and I've been hitting every site possible to see. It is not looking good. I am trying very hard not to start going very upset.

  3. I believe in you! Just write, don't look at the word count.
    You can always bounce off ideas on me. I think my story is seriously lacking myself, but that is not going to stop me. Don't let it stop you.

  4. KB- Thank you. I will try. It's just so hard since my characters are being sooooooooooo closed off. Seriously, that dragon refused to talk to me and it took me forever to get his name. THEN his wife first told me a fake name before it tumbled out and her reasoning was that "I don't know you, can't tell a stranger my name." I'm like, what the heck?!?!!

  5. smack the dragon wife upside the head. It works for me.

  6. KB - Nooooooo~~~~~ She's the one that got the dragon to tell me his name in the first place. If I smack her, he's going to eat me. Or my main character. Dangit.

  7. I'm with you CA sucks right now!