Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A bit of consistency, but still ranting

Horray, another post in the same week! I'm very proud of myself. If only this will last.

First off, thank you ladies for the great encouragement, advice, and moral support. :) I really appreciate and value your opinions and POV. ^_^ Sometimes, it's a little hard to see things when I happen to be in the middle of it. Preconceptions, biases, and whatnot (and my own age) doesn't tend to help.

A bit of sad news filtered through almost right after my last post.

I received a call from a college friend, which normally would have been a good thing, to hear a very influential professor of ours had passed away just a few days prior. It was not a terrible shock as she had been ill for some time and her age didn't help matters. What did cause a pang of regret in the pit of my digestive organ was the fact she and I never truly reconciled and having lost touch a while back.
Called the surviving spouse to offer assistance and condolences, but he wasn't really up to talking so I'll probably call back later this week as he had suggested. Things happen and I'm not too upset over the passing. Merely the losing touch and never really having a resolution to the past.

Another friend (also former classmate) has been hit pretty hard as well. She's not dealing too well and I'm not exactly sure if the way I'm dealing with it is correct even for me. My professor's gone and there's much anyone can really do. I only hope her husband will be okay.

Oh, a bit of example as to the irritation I feel from the guy:

*phone rings, I pick up phone and sees The Guy is calling*

Me: Hey!
The Guy: Hello?
Me: Hi.
TG: Hello?
Me: Yes?
TG: Hello? Hello?
Me: Uh...yeessss?
TG: Hello? Can you hear me?
Me: ...

*insert irritated look at the phone*

Me: I can hear you fine.
TG: Oh, ok. Good. I can hear you too.

*minor pause with lil Alys getting a bad feeling*

TG: Um.

*bad feeling grows*

TG: So your teacher died.

*Alys smacks own forehead*

This was an example of his usual sensitive approach to talking and comforting me. *sigh* Yes, that really was him trying to comfort me. So, I figure that the biggest source of problems in this relationship really is his lack of skills in communication. Complete lack.

I got upset after a while as he really was terrible. Really terrible.

Oh well, nothing much we can do. Everyone warned me he doesn't like to talk, which has since been disproved as he talks to me a LOT. He just says terrible things because it doesn't filter through his giant head. Ergo, he doesn't talk to others. Which is fine, I told him, as long as I'm the only one he talks to.
Yes, I've decided being subtle does nothing. Guess I'm learning to put my very tiny feet down. Better than kicking him in the head.

See?!?!!! I was never this violent before. Another facet about me I'm starting to learn. O_o Ugh, and I used to be one of those people that hate talking about my own relationships. *sigh* More to learn. All bad stuff. It'll calm down soon. It better. Or I'm seriously going to chuck a book or two at his head. Not for read, just to relieve tension. ;)

In the meantime, I've finished all 4 seasons of Futurama. Love it. :) Need the movies now.


  1. ((Alys))

    LOL. Sounds like most other guys. I think the only ones that are more unfiltered and clueless are the engineering guys, it probably something to do with all those numbers and math stuff.

  2. Amy~ Yup. He's a computer guy. Math major back in college. *sigh* Guess I might as well get used to it.

    In the meantime...I'll have my book dosage. :)

  3. Alys I'm so sorry to hear about your professor's passing with unresolved stuff between you. That's always very difficult and sort of devastating that you don't have a chance to set things straight or at the very least have some resolution.

    For a non-verbal guy who feels helpless but really does want to comfort you tell him that when you are upset to put his arms around you and say, "I'm clueless and don't know what to say to comfort you, but I love you and I want you to know I'm here." GG and I had a come to Jesus chat about comforting years ago because he always wants to comfort but invariably ended up saying something that irritated me instead. Call me crazy, but I give points for effort and good intentions.

    If he really doesn't care or was being careless or cavalier then...he's a schmuck.

    I get carried away sometimes. Sorry. But he better be nice to you or else. I don't know what the or else is yet, but there is one.

  4. I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your professor because of your unresolved issues. Hang in there.

    TG...well being married to a quiet man I know that sometimes it's extremely hard for them to get the words out. And like Rosie's hubby sometimes they just say the wrong thing and it's damn irritating. Take Rosie's advice - it's good. :)
    Now the Hello? Hello? Hello? thing? Tell him to stop right now. He's not 12!!!

  5. Sorry to hear about the professor I wish you were able to resolve those issues. If you ever need to talk just let me know.

    As far as the guyd he will either figure it out or he won't. Hopefully he will figure it out.