Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Mrs Alys' Wedding Etiquette

I recently had my wedding reception and few things popped out that I would love share...

A lot of goods and a few minor hiccups.  Most I did not learn about until after the fact.

One thing I found really funny was that almost all the people I worked with: venue, coordinators, vendors, etc. kept commenting about how I was one of the nicest and best bride they have had in a long time.  Or how sweet I was...and it got me thinking, why?

I was stressed beyond belief, everyone in my family involved in one way or another wanting things done this way and that.  I was very clear to the people I worked with, followed up, and generally pestered them as much as I why was I told I was so great? <~no, I'm not being sarcastic or trying to say I'm good, I was seriously told that...repeatedly in various forms and many different adjectives.

Then I got to thinking: I was polite and thankful.  Is it so hard for people to do that?  Apparently so...I guess.

So here's a few general tips and advise you never asked for and probably won't ever listen to.  Still, I wanted to get this out.

For Brides:
Plan early
If want to do it yourself, please be flexible about changes
Be nice - Just because you pay people does not mean you own them
Be nice - People choosing to help you are helping you, not owing you anything
Research your venues
Research your vendors
If at all possible, research and earn enough money for a good wedding planner/coordinators (the good ones are so worth it)
Yes, this is YOUR wedding, and YOUR day, but as much as this is about you (and your soon-to-be spouse), please remember you are celebrating together with a bunch of other people.  Be flexible and learn to compromise.
And most importantly: Say THANK YOU and PLEASE!

Is it that hard to stop and stay a few simple words of thanks?

Granted, I can understand how some people become bridezilla.  There is just so much stress.  Everyday something to do, or problems to deal with, or changes.  Nothing ever just goes right, or more precisely - just GOES.

So, here's the big one.  Wedding Guests...

Unless you are footing the entire event, clothes, jewelry and bills, please remember you are a guest.
I am paying the vendors, not you - be polite to them.
Just because you brought gifts/cards/cash, does not mean you get to cut in front of other guests
Everyone invited is special
No matter how much money you give me, it doesn't mean you're better than the other guests - please be polite
Don't be LATE
Oh my gosh, I have to re-iterate, please be on your best behavior...there are other people there too
Please have fun by not throwing tantrums.
Enjoy the food/snacks/party favors. Don't steal other people's.  Just ask me nicely, I have extras prepared.
Try not to get stinky drunk
Please don't use being drunk as an excuse to your behaviors
Don't pretend to be drunk, or act like it.
You are not the boss, I am - stop demanding things from my vendors, venues, and workers: please simply ask nicely.  They are human beings/living creatures/your equals.  Please stop being so rude.
And please remember, everyone invited is a family or friend.  They WILL tell me how YOU behave.

Now to the hardest working group: Vendors/Entertainers/Servers/Staff
People are watching you - they will tell me your behaviors both good and bad.
I tip based on behavior, not how much the place is.
I apology for all the bad behaving guest, but don't worry, I will tip extra if you can endure them politely.
If you like something, ask because yes, I do have extras for you.
And believe it or not, people talk to each other. Recommendations do matter.


  1. Congratulations to you, Mrs Alys!! :) No more pictures? :( One at least of your dress? :P

  2. Thank you, Nath! Thank you! Oh soon, most definitely soon. I am waiting for more pictures to come in.

    I actually have another post coming about bad manners. After that one, then I will definitely post my wedding pics and such. :D

  3. Congrats!! I didn't realize the big day came and went. So happy for you!

  4. Thanks, Lori! I meant to write about it here and document the insanity, but the insanity kind of took over. Lol. >_<

  5. Wait, what?!! How did we not know this was happening BEFORE it happened? lol! No worries.. you are the boss. ;) SO happy for you, dear! SO SO SO happy!!!!!! :D Like REALLY happy for you that I just got choked up and my eyes are all glassy-teary. I would love to see photos of you guys on your wedding day. No pressure. Did you wear a traditional Chinese bride gown? One of my dear friends wore a traditional white gown for her ceremony and then changed into her traditional Chinese gown for the reception. I LOVED IT! Oh and your cake is one of the most beautiful I've seen!

    Congratulations to you both. xo

  6. Hi Chrissy! Um, I meant to write about it! I really meant to! It was just soooooooooooo busy and crazy. I'm pretty sure I made some fb status comments about the insanity. Lol. Between work and the planning and running around, I was amazed it all went well.

    Thank you so much! :D It was an exhausting day, but it was fun. I will definitely have follow up posts for you with lots of pictures. I need approval from Old Man though since he's never too keen on his face/life on the internet.

    I did wear a Chinese gown. A modern take on it, but nonetheless, a traditional dress. Actually, my white gown was also based on the traditional Chinese dress style. :D

    Thank you again! I get pictures to you soon.